Sam's First
by pessimistic-optimists
Summary: Sam had always thought of his first kiss as a huge climactic relief of built-up tension between him and another person and he felt girly thinking this, but he wanted it to be romantic. Teenage Sam/Dean.
1. Chapter 1

Sam wanted his first kiss.

_Really _wanted it.

He had always thought of his first kiss as a huge climactic relief of built-up tension between him and another person (and he says another person because, as much as he didn't like to admit it, he wasn't really sure yet). And he felt girly thinking this, but he wanted it to be romantic.

But he was getting restless.

The first time he had practiced on the back of his hand was when he was a week or so away from turning fifteen. Dean had gone out with Dad on a hunt and he was left at this house they were staying in. He was sitting cross legged on his bed and had just been thinking about it for ages, wondering what it was like. He bit the back of his hand in frustration.

The skin was surprisingly soft under his hand and he was struck by the idea that he could… well… practice. He'd felt embarrassed, even though he'd be alone in the house for another two days and no one would even know. But no one would know, so he did.

He pressed his lips to the back of his hand tenderly and closed his eyes, tilting his head to the side. He imagined bunching his hands up in the shirt of the person he was kissing (who was starting to appear more and more like a guy in his mind). He imagined being pressed up against a wall by this imaginary guy-person. He imagined sitting cross legged just like he was, with this person opposite him, both of them leaning into each other's mouths and when he stopped, his breathing was heavier than usual.

Even though it had satisfied his curiosity, it had just left him wanting the _actual _thing. So then he flopped back on his bed, more frustrated than ever.

When they got home, Sam had practiced another two times, one of which he felt very embarrassed about because he tried… licking… a bit. He was still frustrated, though, and it didn't help when he was watching a movie with Dean and a kissing scene came up. Sam exhaled and awkwardly looked away, hoping that Dean didn't notice.

"Sam, have- have you… kissed a girl yet?" Sam froze. Apparently, he had noticed.

"I- yes." He said, stuttering slightly. Dean arched an eyebrow, tilting his head toward Sam expectantly.

"Ok, ok! No." His voice became more embarrassed the longer he spoke.

"_Damn, _Sammy getting on in years aren't you?" Dean said with a chuckle. He shuffled slightly, sitting up more and leaning toward Sam.

"Shut _up_!" Sam said, tossing the pillow he was holding at Dean's head.

"If you already knew why did you ask anyway?" Sam sat with his arms crossed and he was shrugging, stooping his head.

"I don't know Sammy. Just… wondering."

A week later or so, there was another hunt and Sam was left at home for a couple days. Dean and Dad had just left and he sat cross legged on his bed again and thought about whether or not he should… practice again. He had become a bit less embarrassed by it after the last couple times and he actually found himself anticipating it.

He brought the back of his hand up to his mouth and tilted his head to the side, envisioning his favourite scenario yet, where the mystery guy-person pulls Sam down into a kiss and Sam-

_Shit._

Sam's hand snapped to his side and he grabbed a book off his bedside table just in time to hear the heavy footsteps sounding up the stairs reach his door and to see Dean open the door.

"Hey, Sammy I forgot my-" Sam could see Dean's eyes move quickly to the back of his hand and then back to his innocent expression.

"OhohOH, Sammy," Dean twisted his mouth into a wry smile, "Were we _practicing_?"

"No."

Dean's lips pressed hard together, as though forcing down laughter.

"Sure, Sammy, sure." Sam was looking down into the book now, his hand angled so that the back was out of Dean's line of sight.

_Oh my GOD. OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING._

"Don't worry, Sammy, I won't tell." And then Dean was gone, ducking out of the room with a wink, leaving the door half-open.

Sam could hear Dean rifling through cupboards in the next room and, soon enough, he called out.

"I found it!" Then Dean was bounding down the stairs and hear could hear the Impala door slam and then the engine was purring as it drove off and Sam was lying on the bed with his face in his hands, still flushed with embarrassment.

Two days later, Dean and Dad were back from the hunt and Sam had sat down on his bed, reading. Sam was still embarrassed out of his head and had been waiting for Dean to mention… it. Dad had gone out.

"So that's it then?" Sam called to Dean as he walked past his bedroom door.

"What's what?" Dean replied.

Sam rolled his eyes. "You _really _aren't going to, I don't know, tease me about…"

"About Sammy getting friendly with the back of his hand?"

Sam was going to bitch face about it, when the tone in Dean's voice struck him as… off.

He turned toward Dean and found him with a soft expression on his face.

"No, I understand Sammy. It's good. About your age you just," Dean shrugged and turned his mouth up, "Start to, uh, wonder- I guess."

Sam could _not _believe himself. Dean wasn't mocking him. If he was doing anything he was sticking _his _neck out.

"Hey, don't look so surprised!"

Sam knew he could trust Dean with how he felt so…

"No, sorry… but yeah, you're right. I have been wondering… what it's like y'know?"

Dean had stepped inside Sam's room at this point, and he stepped forward again.

"Sammy whe-"

"Would you show me?" Dean stopped halfway through what he was saying, his eyes snapping up to Sam.

"What?"

"Would- you… show me?" One look at the disbelief on Dean's face had Sam calling himself an idiot and taking it back as soon as he had said it. "Sorry, I just thought that if I was going to do it I should do it with someone I trust and then I thought 'why not you?' but that's a stupid id-"

"Um, sure." Sam was cut off from his rambling by Dean replying quietly. "Yeah, Sammy… ok."

Dean took off his over shirt, set it down on a chair, and strode to Sam's bed, sitting down and crossing his legs. He leaned back on his arms. Sam was looking up at him, trying to think of what to say.

"O-kay."

"Just tell me whatever you want to do, Sammy."

All that Dean could think was that he hadn't had any support or concern when_ he _was feeling like this, and so he had constantly been confused. He remembered his first kiss. It was terrible. A dry, gross smack with a girl called… Melinda? He hated the fact that it hadn't been anything… well, _anything_! He wasn't gonna freakin' let that happen to Sammy. No, that _wouldn't_ happen to Sam.

"Ok, I'll start then." Sam was blushing to the tips of his ears and now Dean could feel a bit of blush creeping up his neck. "Would you like me to kiss you, Sam?" He looked Sam in the eyes.

"Y-yes."

"Do you want to start or do you want me to?"

"Could… could you? Start, I mean. Sorry." Sam was all flustered and embarrassed now.

"Ok, Sammy just tell me when." Dean looked at Sam patiently, as though he could wait there for however long Sam wanted him to wait. Sam thought that he probably would, actually.

"Whenever." He was breathing heavily.

"Okay, I'll take that as a when."

Dean started leaning forward and Sam tilted his head to the side like he had done before. Sam leaned in a bit and then Dean moved up and forward and Sam's lips locked with his.

Sam's stomach was fluttering and his eyelids were closing when he realised that Dean had his eyes closed and that there was a pink blush tinting his cheeks. Sam made a soft sound that was muffled by the kiss and Dean's eyebrows turned up, his cheeks red now to match Sam. Dean leaned further into the kiss and Sam leaned in in turn, tilting his head further and opening his mouth slightly to match Dean's. He couldn't help but make another noise at the sensation of tongue sliding wetly against tongue and Dean made a small noise in turn.

At this point, Dean had a hand cupping the side of Sam's face and Sam was gladly leaning into the support. It was then that Sam realised that his mystery guy-person was turning into Dean.

It was Dean's shirt that he imagined bunching his hands up in. It was Dean he imagined being pressed up against a wall by, being pulled down into a kiss by. And now, he didn't have to imagine sitting cross legged with Dean opposite him, both of them leaning into each other's mouths, because it was happening.

They broke the kiss for a moment and pressed their foreheads together, just long enough for Sam to let out Dean's name in an airy voice, dizzy.

"Oh, Sammy."

Dean pulled Sam back into the kiss with force and their lips crushed together, Sam leaning forward and uncrossing his legs out from under him, shuffling forward until he was sitting in Dean's lap, hands bunched in Dean's shirt. Dean had a hand in Sam's hair and the other arm wrapped around his little brother's back.

"Sam." Dean moved slightly, mouthing Sam's jawline and working around to his neck and under his ear, leaving Sam breathless and clinging to his shoulders. He sucked on Sam's earlobe, which earned him a moan.

"God, Dean." Sam's voice was almost a whisper, full of pleading. Sam didn't have to plead; Dean wasn't going to stop any time soon.

Dean lightly bit Sam's earlobe and moved back to Sam's lips, pressing them to his.

Sam could feel Dean grin into the kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

John and Dean arrived home after a particularly tiring hunt and stumbled through the front door, exhausted. John mumbled a quick greeting to Sam and walked up the stairs soon after, heading for his bedroom.

"Are you going upstairs?" Sam had wanted to do something with Dean, but he looked shattered.

"Nah, Sammy. Let's watch a movie." Dean must have seen Sam's spark of relief, because he smiled tiredly and reached out to ruffle Sam's hair.

They soon sat down on the couch to watch _Star Wars_, side by side, leaning forward on their seats.

They were up to Dean's favourite part, a huge battle, when Sam looked over at Dean.

"You okay, Dean? You looked _wrecked_ when you came home."

"Wow, you flatter me, Sammy." Dean looked at Sam with mock hurt and Sam chuckled and leaned against him.

Sam looked up at Dean from his perch on Dean's shoulder.

"I'm fine, Sam… if you were actually wondering." Dean's head stooped and he looked at his shoes.

"I always wonder about you." Sam's voice was so small, so innocent. Dean looked up at him.

Sam leant forward and surprised Dean with a gentle, sweet kiss.

"But, what abou-"

"Don't worry. You _know _that Dad'll sleep for hours." Sam's cheeks were pink again. At first, Sam hadn't known what to think about the… brothers with benefits thing that him and Dean had going on… but it had been a week and a bit and now? Now it seemed perfectly normal. Well, as normal as it could be when it was your brother you were making out with (which was _surprisingly_ normal).

Dean leant down and pressed his lips to Sam's, slowly turning around to face him.

"Dean." Sam whispered his name almost involuntarily and felt Dean take a shaky breath as Sam leant back on the couch, pulling Dean down over him.

They were lying flush, Dean's arms pressed into the pillows next to Sam's head. Dean watched Sam blow part of his fringe off his eyes and beam up at him before pulling him further down by the neck. He melted into the kiss.

Dean was about to pull away when his little brother parted his lips and slid his tongue into Dean's mouth. Sam's chest was heaving and Dean was dizzy already. Sam had never seen Dean dizzy. Sure, out of breath or disoriented because of something that happened in a hunt, but _never _dizzy from anything but physical exertion. Least of all kissing. A rush of adrenaline and something else shot through Sam at the thought that _he_ could make Dean dizzy. _Only _he could make Dean dizzy.

And he decided he would make Dean as dizzy as he could.

Sam lifted his arms and grabbed Dean's shoulders, pushing him back. Sam could tell that Dean thought he was pushing him away, because Dean quickly started to back off, but he leant forward, making it clear that he just wanted to be… on top.

They were reversed now, heads down the other end of the sofa with Sam pinning Dean down by the shoulders. Sam thrived off the reaction he was getting from Dean. He was lying with his eyes closed, cheeks redder than Sam had ever seen them, and he was responding to every kiss Sam gave him almost desperately.

Sam pulled away from the kiss and started to nuzzle under Dean's neck until he had tipped up his chin and there was room for Sam to lick up under his jawline all the way to his ear.

"You just trying to make me squirm, Sammy?" Dean was breathless.

Sam grinned, looked up from where he had been mouthing on Dean's neck and replied, "Maybe."

He climbed up until he was right in front of Dean. Their noses were bumping. He bit Dean's lower lip and Dean fucking _moaned_.

Letting go of Dean's lip, Sam couldn't resist the urge to press down on Dean's hips once. Just to see what it would do to him.

When Dean arched up and made a staggered noise, Sam was gone too far to stop.

He thrust against him and their lips crushed together. Dean was saying something at one point, but the words were muffled and Sam could only make sense of Dean pressing against him in the steady rhythm that they had built up. They were completely entwined now. Dean clutching at Sam's back, Sam with his legs laced between Dean's. Each desperate for the other's touch. Soon both of them were crying out as they came, pressed flush against each other, still fully clothed.

"_Jesus_, Sam." Dean breathing had slowed, but his chest was still heaving. Sam let out an airy response.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean shifted under Sam and moved to the side and Sam rolled over to lie next to him. He buried his head in Dean's shoulder and they lay next to each other. It wasn't until they were almost asleep that Sam let out an airy response.

"I love you, Dean."

….

Dean opened his eyes partly and then closed them again, hoping to get back to sleep. After a minute of stubborn relaxation, Dean accepted that he wasn't going back to sleep and opened his eyes again. He turned he his head to the side and was greeted Sam's face an inch from his and _that_ was when he remembered what had happened.

_I just had sex. With my brother. I just had sex with my brother. SEX WITH MY BROTHER._

Sam's eyelids were fluttering open and Dean heard him draw a deep breath. He picked up his head and buried it in Dean's neck.

"Good morningevening, Dean." Dean figured that Sam didn't think he was awake, because he jumped when Dean replied.

"Good morningevening to you."

Sam was about to roll over, on top of Dean when he heard John coming down the stairs. He jumped up, off the seat and to the armchair adjacent to Dean. He managed to settle down into the cair before John came in around the corner.

"Hey boys."

"Hey, Dad," they both answered.

"Get on up when you feel like it, but know that I'm going out to get dinner in 10, if you want to come along for anything."

"Nah, I'm fine."

"I'm good too."

John looked between them. "Okay, good. I'll be back soon." With that, he turned and went to get his stuff, leaving five minutes later. Leaving Dean and Sam in the lounge room.

Dean got up and walked over to Sam. He hast down and Sam leant against him.

"I love you too, Sammy."

((AGH OK. haha yAY this was my first smut scene eVER and I'm sorry if it was awkward or unrealistic or bad! If you know any ways I can improve please feel free to tell me! Also I'm so sorry that I've been slow on updates, (gosh darn those fracking science exams) but there'll be an update for my other story as well soon!))


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